Happy Valentine’s Day: Exploring Unconditional Love

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe.  Love creates miracles.  Love has the power to move mountains as my elders would say.  When I became a mother, I learned a new level of love that I never understood before.  There was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect and care for my children.  I loved them without condition.  It didn’t matter if they loved me back.

It didn’t matter if they became successful. It didn’t matter what happened, I loved them without condition.  There is no condition that would prevent me from loving my children.  I would tell them.  “I love you unconditionally.  And there is nothing you can do to change that.”  And I made it clear that doesn’t mean I will always like them or their behavior.  And that they could damage the relationship to the point where I would not want to do anything for them AND I would still love them from afar.

That kind of love also helped me to learn to love myself in the same way. The love that I learned to have for myself, put boundaries, limitations and restrictions on what I would allow people to do to me and what I would do for others.  And that doesn’t change the unconditional love I have for them – my children in this case.  It just allows me to love myself enough to put my well-being as a priority.

This was difficult for me to understand when I was a teenager and had this conversation with my mother.  And when I had my own kids, it became clear.

My intent in sharing these thoughts as we approach Valentine’s Day is to remind you about the difference between love that is conditional, that depends on what you do for that person and love that is unconditional which doesn’t.  I have loved conditionally and been in conditionally loving relationships where the love would end if I didn’t do this or that.  We all have had that experience.  And as I grew and deepened in my spiritual understanding, I came to love myself unconditionally and learned to be in unconditionally loving relationships and still manage the boundaries that were needed to keep me safe, healthy, and whole.  And every day I am exploring and learning more about how to do everything with love and the power of unconditional love.  And I will keep sharing.