Self-Love & Self-Care

When we love someone, we want the best for them and are willing to find ways to support them becoming, being and achieving.  We express that love in tangible ways.  We look at them lovingly, touch them gently, care for their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. 

How are we doing those things for ourselves?  Are we caring as much for our own well-being as we do for the well-being of others?  Are we on our own list?

I remember towards the end of my first marriage, making a commitment to myself about the kinds of relationships I wanted to be in.  I looked in the mirror and said “Monika, I love you” and proceeded to cry.  Saying that was difficult and I didn’t really believe myself.  I spent the next 10 years learning to love myself unconditionally just the way I was, becoming the person I wanted to love.  Someone who was caring, gentle, compassionate, sensuous, sexual, spiritual, respectful, mutually beneficial, trustworthy, and all the characteristics I was looking for in my ideal relationship. 

What I didn’t know at that time was that in order to attract the partner that embodies all those traits, I had to embody those traits.  I had to be able to look in the mirror and say, “Monika, I love you” and mean it and have demonstrated tangible proof that it was true.

And the more I embodied the traits I was looking for in someone else, the more I attracted these traits in the people with whom I was already in relationship.  I first noticed that my friendships and business relationships became more mutual, more respectful and more appreciative.  The quality of my relationships deepened.  I was more appreciative of the relationships I had and saw their value.  I appreciated myself more and saw my own value more clearly.  Then I realized the more loving and caring I was to myself, the more I experienced love and care in all of my relationships. 

All of this to say, you attract what you put out.  This is the law of attraction.  If you don’t like what you are attracting, give and embody the qualities you want to receive.  When you love yourself, you attract love because that is what you are putting into the world. 

So many people are lonely, hurt, scared, and starved for love.  We each have the power to give ourselves the love we desire and deserve.  Not in a surface way, but in a deeply satisfying way; because we have moved from judging ourselves and others to accepting who we are and shifting back to the perfection of who we really are on a spiritual level.

We will be exploring the theme of self-love and self-care throughout the month of February in our online community.  Click here to join us and add your insights to the conversation.

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